October 27, 2012

Day 27: My Beautiful Wife and the Nagging Insurance Company POTS

***I knew that I wanted to have a post about 
what it is like to be married to someone with POTS.  
But that meant convincing Grant to write a blog post...
and I am pleased to announce that this is 

Kingsley has asked me to write on this blog many times, and I really wasn’t interested. However, when Kingsley said she wanted me to write during Dysautonomia Awareness Month and what it’s like to be married to someone with POTS, I thought it was a fine time to make my debut onto the blogging scene. Although cliché, it won’t hold me back from saying I’m the luckiest man in the world who is married to the sweetest gal.  She is the total package: kind, fun, sweet, good looking, loving, and… un-characteristically relaxed due to POTS.

POTS is like the insurance company that always calls during family dinner to tell you about a new fee. POTS likes to call at the most inconvenient time and tell you news you 1) don’t care to hear and 2) news that never positively affects you. It’s the insurance company that has your cell phone number, so it can reach you anywhere, at any time. The company’s employees operate 24 hours a day and love to interrupt a busy or important day-- more so than the days you maybe planned to receive a call. It’s a provider you can’t drop, and a company who’s loyal for life. Whether we like it or not.

My wife and I have been working around POTS now for over two years. It was one of those diagnoses that the docs just couldn’t figure out. There were some tough hours, days, and months; but I married a tough woman. I am currently an Infantry officer in the US Army and I can say without a doubt my wife is stronger physically and mentally than I am. It’s one thing to walk 20 miles with 70 pounds on your back in freezing temperatures, but it’s another to struggle daily with a body who tells you, “no I’m not getting out of bed.” Somehow, she manages to tutor students with special needs multiple hours a day, keep a clean house, cook excellent meals, and maintain our social calendar. To manage all that with POTS proves she is physically and mentally stronger than I could ever be.

Although I hate our insurance company POTS, it has taught me a lot. I’ve learned that I can complain to my wife about long days, which she will listen to like a great friend, fully knowing that her day has been longer and harder than I will ever know. I’ve fully embraced the family room sofa as a place to spend an entire day. The funny thing about spending an entire day on the sofa is when we muster up the strength to move to the bed at the end of the day, it’s never a day wasted. Please don’t think I’m trivializing POTS, it’s a bitch, but it has allowed Kingsley and I to focus on spending countless hours talking to each other. POTS has taught me more about appreciating the smaller things in life, more so than the Army has. One example is grocery shopping. Kingsley and I did a year apart when I was in training down at Fort Benning. She flew 50,000 miles that year to come and spend weekends with me. We used to joke how our favorite activity was grocery shopping because it made us feel like a normal couple. (How she ever flew that much with POTS I will never know) Knowing what I know now about POTS, with grocery shopping generally being a big outing, it’s still one of my favorite things to do with her. It lets me feel normal, I know everyone does it, but watching her hustle around the grocery store allows me to forget about POTS.

POTS changed our pace of life, but not necessarily in a bad way. It has… forced us to spend hours at home together, either in bed or on the sofa, and spend quality time most people take for granted. It has made outings like the grocery store fun and made me appreciate the times when we go out to see shows like Wicked and POTS forgets to call. POTS has made our planning superb, and our teamwork one to rival professional sports teams. I hate POTS, but it’s a condition that allows me to show my wife the love she deserves. And I still pray for a day when POTS stops calling, so my wife can enjoy bigger outings, like skydiving.


  1. What a SWEET post! :) Love that y'all take what would be a negative to some people (staying in and resting) and spinning it into something positive (spending quality time together). Y'all make a great team. :)

  2. what a sweet post!! you two are lucky to have found each other!


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